See sunning gators, rare orchids and colorful birds in Florida's largest theme park, the Everglades. There's no line, and here a mouse might get eaten.
By JEFF KLINKENBERG
Published August 31, 2003
[Photo: Jeffrey Greenberg]
The moon rises over coastal pines in Everglades National Park.
[Times photo: Scott Keeler]
With an escort of bream, an alligator floats by a dock off the Tamiami Trail near the Miccosukee Indian Village. Go to photo gallery
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Ambition and sweat tamed the Everglades just enough to bring modern life to Tampa and Miami. Now, 75 years later, we speed along a road where civilization runs as wild as the alligator – the 275-mile Tampa-to-Miami stretch of U.S. 41 known as the Tamiami Trail.
For many folks, the Everglades is something like a heaping bowl of broccoli. They know they are supposed to like broccoli, that broccoli is good for them, but they would rather eat a bowl of ice cream instead.
They like their nature to come with majestic mountains and icy streams. A humid swamp and the possibility of an encounter with a water moccasin gives them the heebie-jeebies.
I am what my old friend Marjory Stoneman Douglas used to call "an Everglades boy." To me, the Everglades is not steamed broccoli but an ice-cream sundae with whipped cream on top. I am fond of mountains, but I love swamps even more.
I grew up in Miami, only minutes from what Mrs. Douglas called "the river of grass" in her landmark 1947 book about the place. In the Glades I have fished for bass, grabbed frogs, caught snakes, paddled canoes and ridden airboats. I even got lost a time or two.
Over the decades I have donated pints of blood to mosquitoes, yanked off ticks, sidestepped moccasins, chased panthers, hooted at owls, grunted at alligators and skinny-dipped, usually where I was sure snapping turtles were in short supply.
To me, the Everglades is the wild heart of Florida, a magical place where anything can happen: Florida without a script.
Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised, sometimes a little scared, but always I feel better about having gone. The Everglades is my favorite theme park.
The Everglades, I should tell you, is a lot of things. It's rivers, prairies, lakes, piney forests, cypress swamps and miles and miles of mangrove-lined creeks.
The Everglades begins near Orlando and meanders south all the way to Florida Bay. But when most people talk about the Everglades, they mean the southernmost section near the tip of Florida, which is the part that includes Everglades National Park.
There are places I enjoy visiting again and again. They're in the national park, on U.S. 41, known as the Tamiami Trail, or near it. Avoid Interstate 75, a.k.a. Alligator Alley, if you want to do some real exploring.
Some of my favorite places are popular with organized tour groups, but many are off the beaten path. You could spend two days checking them out, or two weeks, or a half century. You can get your feet wet if you're adventuresome, or just keep your sneakers on the pavement. The important thing is to look and to listen. Eat your broccoli!
Here is The Real Florida Everglades Tour.
1. Fakahatchee Strand
A state preserve on S.R. 29, the Strand contains some of the rarest plants in the world, including the ghost orchid, made famous by New Yorker magazine's Susan Orlean and the movie Adaptation.
The only way to see a ghost orchid is to park your car on the side of Janes Scenic Highway and wade in. Do not do this without some expertise, because you can get lost or snake bit. My advice is to drive the 11-mile gravel road and just take in the sights and the sounds of an awesome swamp.
I wouldn't count on seeing a Florida panther - North America's rarest large mammal - but in the Strand, there's always a chance. On my last visit I saw an otter scamper across the road. Later, I stopped to admire a fine pile of bear droppings. I admit I am easily entertained. Admission is free.
2. Smallwood Store
Leaving the Strand, continue south on S.R. 29. Cross the Tamiami Trail and head for Everglades City and Chokoloskee beyond. There's lodging available, if you want it, but my destination is the Smallwood Store in Chokoloskee. It is a museum now, though it includes a nifty gift shop.
Once the Wal-Mart of the Everglades, this was a gathering place in pioneer times for moonshiners, crab fishermen and Seminole Indians. Ted Smallwood, who ran the place, sold fish hooks and sewing needles and flour and tobacco. Everybody liked old Ted, even the notorious outlaw, Ed Watson, who was shot dead by nervous Chokoloskee citizens in 1910, just a short cast from Ted's back door. History has never been so much fun.
3. Big Cypress
Backtrack from Chokoloskee north to the Tamiami Trail, completed in 1928, and turn toward Miami. Now you're in the Big Cypress National Preserve, named after the predominant tree that grows in the water, surrounded by gnomelike stumps called knees.
To me, the Big Cypress is the most mysterious, most beautiful part, of the Everglades system. Stop, wait for traffic to quiet, listen to the birds. Keep your eyes peeled. Alligators lie quietly on the banks.
Stop and pull off wherever there's room. I always stop and say hello to the postmaster in the tiny community of Ochopee. Her post office, no bigger than a guest bathroom, is the smallest in North America. The only time it feels too small, she once told me, is when she is joined by a snake. On my last visit, I saw no snake, but across the road, raiding a neighbor's birdfeeder, was a big bear.
Minutes east of the post office is Big Cypress Gallery, owned by Clyde Butcher, the unofficial photographer laureate of the Everglades. Using a huge box camera, he takes almost life-sized black-and white pictures of the swamp to sell in his gallery.
4. Shark Valley
You will see no sharks in Shark Valley at the point where it crosses the Tamiami Trail. If you were brave and were to pole a dugout canoe 30 miles to the southwest, you would hit the Gulf of Mexico-bound Shark River and you would possibly see a shark. But here, you will see many birds and many alligators.
At the Shark Valley entrance to Everglades National Park, pay the $10 admission fee. Hang on to your receipt - you'll be using it later. Park. Visit the restroom. Browse in the gift shop. Then have an adventure.
A 15-mile paved loop roads cuts through Shark Valley. You can walk a bit of it, but I prefer to bring my bike and ride the whole shebang. If you don't have a bike, you can rent one for $5.25 an hour.
This is my favorite place to ride in Florida. The first time I encountered a big alligator lying on the road, I'll admit I was nervous. I'm used to them now, though they aren't used to bikes. As you pedal near them, they leap into the water with a great crash.
If this sounds scary, take a tour by tram. Tickets cost $12 for adults, $11 for seniors and $7.25 for kids.
5. Miccosukee Indian Reservation.
I stop here for a bite if I have neglected to pack a lunch. If you've never eaten fried alligator tail, give the restaurant a try. Fortified, hit the village museum across the road; admission is $5 for adults, $3.50 for children.
The Miccosukees, part of the Seminole culture, migrated into the Glades after three 19th-century wars with the U.S. government. They are water people, comfortable among the snakes and alligators and aquatic birds.
Demonstrations of their old lives and culture are on display. Alligator wrestling, too. I guarantee you will shut your eyes the instant the wrestler places his head between the jaws of the gator. Slam!
On the reservation you will have countless chances to take an airboat ride ($10 per person). I usually patronize Buffalo Tiger's little place at the reservation's eastern border. The former chief is 84 now, but he still leads airboat tours from time to time. When he doesn't, he usually sits in the gift shop, chatting with visitors. I love hearing his stories of the old Glades and of his life and times.
6. Robert Is Here
You'll hit Krome Avenue, a.k.a. U.S. 27, before you reach Miami. Turn south and drive through farm country. You'll pass Homestead (motels and restaurants of every description are in Homestead) and then hit little Florida City. Turn right. Up ahead is Robert Is Here.
Robert is Robert Moehling. When he was 7, he tried selling tomatoes and cucumbers on a Florida City street corner, but nobody stopped. Then his dad painted a sign - "ROBERT IS HERE" - that pointed toward the little boy's table. Now, 43 years later, Robert is still at it in a huge pavilion about a mile west of Krome.
Robert's is impossible to miss. From a half mile away you'll see the roof and the sign "ROBERT IS HERE." Robert's has to be Florida's most-exotic tropical fruit stand. You can buy mangos and avocados, of course, but this is where I go to try out sapodilla, custard apples and what Robert calls "monstera deliciosa." The delicious monster, which resembles a cucumber, tastes of banana and pineapple.
Making a lunch out of Robert's fruit is wonderful enough. Even better is one of his milkshakes, flavored with whatever he has on hand.
7. Mahogany Hammock
After Robert's, you'll drive another 5 miles before entering the main entrance of Everglades National Park. Show the rangers the receipt you gathered at Shark Valley and you're in business.
Spend time at the huge visitor center and gift shop. A five-minute drive away are several trails worth taking. A little farther down the main road is wonderful Mahogany Hammock.
A hammock is a shady place; this one is also wet. Fortunately, a boardwalk winds through the large trees.
I love just standing on the boardwalk and listening. Last time, near dusk, I was serenaded by a barred owl. "Whoo-whoo-a-whoo!" it cried.
"Who cooks for you!" I responded.
Near the end of the boardwalk, close to the parking lot, a crowd had gathered. "What are you looking at?" I asked. Coiled near the base of a palmetto was a magnificent eastern diamondback rattlesnake. They're almost gone elsewhere in Florida. It was a privilege to see the animal the Miccosukees called, "The King of the Plant Nations."
8. Snake Bight
Back in your vehicle, head south on the main park road. Look for a little sign announcing the trail for Snake Bight. I am pretty sure snakes live in Snake Bight though I haven't been lucky enough to see one.
The trail begins at the main park road and ends almost 2 miles later at Florida Bay - near the serpentine channels that actually gave the place its name.
You can walk the trail, though I like to ride my bike through the cathedral of mangroves and tropical hardwoods seen only here in North America. I brake for alligators and webs fashioned by enormous orb-weaver spiders. At Florida Bay, in the winter, look for white pelicans and flamingos.
My only caveat about Snake Bight regards the food chain. If the weather is warm, you are it. The U.S. Department of Agriculture tests mosquito repellents here. The critters' whine during summer can drown out a 747. Wait until December to try it.
9. Crocodiles
The main park road ends at the little community of Flamingo. There's a lodge 239-695-3101, www.flamingolodge.com restaurant and marina. What I want to tell you about is the marina - probably the best place on Earth to regularly see the elusive American crocodile.
An endangered species, American crocs lack the aggressive reputation of the saltwater crocodiles of Australia and even the alligators you see everywhere in Florida. That said, they are very large and toothy - they can reach 15 feet in length.
Years ago, you had to be lucky to even catch a glimpse of one. That required roaming around a mangrove swamp long after dark. The croc population has grown a bit; for some reason they love the Flamingo marina. I was there at dusk recently and saw an honest 13-footer lying on a boat ramp.
10. Boat tour
Florida Bay and something called "the Wilderness Waterway" beg exploration. At Flamingo Marina you can rent kayaks ($11 an hour), canoes ($12 an hour) or fishing skiffs ($22 an hour) and have an adventure yourself.
Or you can take advantage of two naturalist-led boat tours. One visits the interior Everglades (adults $18, kids $10). Look for manatees and bald eagles. The other boat tour cruises into Florida Bay ($12 and $7). Watch for dolphins and sea turtles.
The best time for both tours is around dusk when birds by the hundreds fill the sky as they head for their roosts. If you see pink, it's probably the roseate spoonbills.
If you go
WHAT TO BRING: If you go to the Glades, especially when the weather is warm, wear light long pants and shirts with full sleeves. Trade your flip-flops for shoes - and socks. I prefer covering my skin with clothing rather than with mosquito repellent, though I usually bring a bottle of bug dope just in case.
I always bring binoculars for watching birds and critters. If you don't know your birds, a field guide is helpful. I usually carry an ice chest and bottled water and soft drinks. Convenience stores often are less than conveniently located.
By all means bring your camera. Without a photo, nobody will believe your claim that you saw a panther or crocodile.
FURTHER READING: Everglades: River of Grass, Marjory Stoneman Douglas, Pineapple Press, $18.95.
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