Q: I met a man who was a year out of a decades-long marriage, and we became seriously, passionately involved, and discussed marriage. I was the first person he dated after he and his wife split.
After almost two years, he broke up with me rather than work on our problems, and immediately started dating others, settling in with one quickly.
Now, seven months later, he says he is still in love with me and wants to talk about resolving our problems and getting back together. The problem is he won't break up with his current girlfriend (whom he tells me he does not love), or tell her he's talking to me. He doesn't want to risk losing her in case we decide we can't work things out, but I feel it's unethical to talk behind her back.
Am I wrong about this? Is it unethical just to talk? Is there a way forward for us?
Getting Back Together
A: Ethical shmethical. This guy is using his current girlfriend as a bedwarmer.
If he'll dehumanize one person to serve his own selfish desires, then he'll dehumanize you — if not in this exact way, then in some other way that serves his needs at the time.
Give yourself an early Festivus gift: Tell him stringing people along is despicable and stop taking his calls.
Forward only works if you're not pointed toward a ditch.